Any woman who has responded to your profile has put her heart on the line - Fact. Of course the chances that every woman you wrote to will reply, or that any one of them is the right person for you, are pretty slim. Women who send these kinds of winks and teasers are often too shy, too lazy, too cheap to subscribe or too busy multi-dating to send a real email. Similarly, I choose not to respond to women who simply attach their profile with no note, or who send a four-line generic form letter. Of course whether you respond is your personal preference. However, I believe that if someone has taken the time to read my profile and send me a complimentary note expressing genuine interest, then they at least deserve a few minutes of my time to look at their profile and respond with a kind note. Not replying is a sure way of discouraging them and knocking confidence.
So a should I have waited longer? The three day rule still sort of existsfor some people, anyway. I guess I could use the time to compose a draft response oh please don't do this - it will be apparent, and it will probably be too long.
You don't even know what you might be responding to. Chill out, go for a walk. Get away from your computer.
Don't bring your smartphone. Awesome person either will or will not respond, it's out of your hands now. Do not start a potential relationship with game-playing unless you want a relationship based on game-playing. She's probably not going to respond or maybe she's a quick-checker and does her responding at some less hurried timebut that's not because you replied right away.
You're thinking way too much about this. If you're the sort who camps in front of the PC or is always on the smartphone, go ahead and write back right away if you want. If you usually let things marinate, do that. She hasn't written back. That might be because she has a ton of messages, she's on a great date, or because she'll write back tomorrow.
Yes, it could also be because she thinks you're desperate, but maybe The One will be charmed with your instant attention.
Data point: I usually read messages right away. I usually don't respond until after I've thought about it a little, and that bit of procrastination means sometimes it might take a couple days for me to get around to it. The timing of my response isn't really related to the timing of the other person's caveat: I try to respond to every message I get, and I have the impression that is not the norm.
Don't stress out too much about it. Also, what Lyn Never said. If someone writes to me and is interesting, I usually take about a day to respond. I will look at the person's profile and then think of a thoughtful reply, especially in the first message. I will generally decrease the time between messages as time goes on.
Respond To Her Texts... Later
If I write someone first, I usually take things at the responder's pace. If it took 2 days for the guy to respond to me, I will wait at least a day to write to him.
I don't want to overwhelm people. I sometimes feel overwhelmed when people respond too quickly. It's a tricky situation and I don't know all the correct answers. I had even toyed with the idea of asking a similar question to yours to get a general consensus of whether I'm following online dating etiquette.
Also, I've had women on okcupid reply back to me months after my last message.
Don't sweat it, there are more of them out there. You're overthinking the problem. She'll reply sometime later if she wants to, and she already responded to you once so clearly she's not completely uninterested.
Perhaps she saw the new message notification, went to read it, and is planning to reply later? That's pretty common I would imagine. Treat it like you would any other type of communication. Replying 30 seconds later looks desperate, but anywhere in the later that day to the few days later range is just fine until you know each better. I get email notice that I have new okc messages and will sometimes use the mobile site to read a new message.
OKC shows that I've logged on, but I never write responses from my phone - that happens on the weekend when I can log into my home computer. But I want to check the inbox in case a date cancelled, etc.
When To Respond To Online Dating Messages By The Creator on Dec 08, in Online Dating Messages Comments: 0. Tags: your odds of having someone reply to your initial message vary. Many reasons exist why many people don't respond. The best advice is to stay on e-mail as long as possible to get to know more about each prospect. When it comes to online dating, patience is a virtue - and having a lack of it might unintentionally send the wrong message to someone you're hoping to impress. It's understandable that your eagerness for a response makes you want to hit "refresh" every minute or so, but Gorshow strongly recommends avoiding this behavior, if possible.
Please don't write a response to a message you haven't seen yet. Otherwise, everything you're saying sounds good. Hopefully you feel better now you've got a load of near-instant askme responses. But I wouldn't worry about this one message. Because, you know, it's You happened to be by the computer, so you responded promptly.
It would be silly to hold this against you.
The speed of someone's response will depend on their online dating site habits and their level of interest in a match. So, when communicating with a match it's best to wait at least seven to ten days for a response. Failure to respond doesn't necessarily spell a lack of interest. It could be down to work schedule or a holiday, so don't. Apr 01, Online dating: how long after receiving a response should I respond? On OKCupid; I'm male. I don't send many messages, maybe per week & I'm trying to be selective & take time to re-read a profile and compose an "attractive" message. Sep 09, Short answer: Definitely not the same day and probably not the next day. Longer answer: When I was doing this, I started off replying straight away. That was a total failure. It was only when I started waiting two days and then replying that i.
If I had to make up a rule, I'd say: respond hours after getting a message. Subtext: you're not so insanely busy that you have no time to attend to your personal life, but you're also not that guy who always responds right away.
As a disclaimer, this is just my speculation based on my experience as a straight man who uses OKCupid. Not being a woman, I obviously could be wrong about how women perceive these things.
Straight women generally have more luxury than straight men to filter people out based on trivial factors, so, as you know, one can't assume that straight-male thinking is the same as straight-female thinking when it comes to online dating. But really, I just respond when I get a chance.
I assume people realize that there are random fluctuations with this kind of thing. As long as I respond within 24 hours, I don't worry about it.
If I find myself taking days to respond to someone's message, I take it as a sign that I'm not actually that interested. B Maybe. C As long as you feel like it.
Look, you don't want to send off a bad email because you wrote it quickly and sent it without thinking. But waiting extra time just to not seem too eager or available or whatever is absurd. No one who's interested in you is going to stop and say "crap, morganw is interested in me and wrote back too soon, fuck that guy," and certainly no one you want to date is going to have that reaction. Wilson at PM on April 1, [ 1 favorite ].
I really don't think that appropriate response time is tied to gender so much as it's tied to personality. So framing this as "will women think this" or "men think that" is misleading.
6 Online Dating Message Dos And Don'ts, Because Complete Sentences Make People Swoon
Some people like to reply to things right away, as soon as they see them. They are not the type to overthink and ponder perfect messages. They're likely to be the type to agree to meeting up as soon as possible, perhaps even that same day. There's likely a variable of interest that factors in too-if they like your profile, they'll be more likely to respond quickly.
This is the kind of dater I am when I'm on OkCupid. Some people don't like to appear too eager and prefer to take time to compose a thoughtful message that digs deeper in to someone's psyche. These are the people who are likely to have more extensive contact before meeting someone and will plan things out far in advance. If someone appeals to them, they may spend even more time planning out their response. Obviously, there are types in between these two ends of the spectrum.
And when people match in their styles, communication is easy and trying to mindread the other person is minimized. When there's a mismatch, there can be a lot of confusion and angst on both ends. In the end, do what you're comfortable doing. If the other person responds well to it, great! If not, then who knows, it might be an indicator that there were fundamental differences in communication there to begin with, and you just saved yourself the time and trouble of finding that out some other way.
How long to wait to respond to online dating message
If you did this 4 times in a row, I might think it was a little eager. I just figured you happened to be online when you get the message. Don't over think it.
I know we all do it, but I constantly forget to respond for several days or just can't think of anything clever to say or am too tired to write any kind of vaguely interesting reply. It doesn't mean I'm not interested.
Some people log into dating website once a week or less. Pick a few intriguing things that they said in their profile and go from there. What else is he cooking? Just use the little information you do have, mutual Facebook friends or the person's location, and ask away. Sure, some people still do it, wait a few days before messaging an online person back. Usually, though, they can see when you last logged in, so what does waiting really prove aside from showing that you're busy and writing to other people?
I know that sometimes we log in just for a moment and don't have time to write back immediately. However, you don't want to lose momentum yours or theirs if you wait too many days to write back. Think you're scared to message a guy? Guys are, too. Recently, I helped a guy friend set up his online dating profile and when he started to get matches, I learned he didn't write to any of them until I stepped in. He didn't know what to write.
I suggested the same things to him that I did above, and now he has three coffee dates planned. Though it may take practice, online dating - and messaging potential dates - gets easier the more you do it.