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This essay is from a series I wrote in co-operation with the Danish tabloid BT in , shortly after I arrived in Denmark. The line drawings are my own. On my very first night in Copenhagen, I went with an American girlfriend to a downtown discotheque. We sat at a table roughly the size of a pizza. Three men sat across from us, a distance of approximately 25 centimeters. For an hour. Without saying anything.

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Other data for illustrative purposes only. For one thing, Danish people seem to think that talking to strangers is uncouth.

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What men want of course, is the same thing that has produced a world population currently approaching 7 billion. Yet you see Danish men and women in parks in the summer, sitting alone on blankets, or in cafes in the winter surrounded by their buddies or girlfriends with their hair carefully gelled, lonely and horny but contemptous of anyone who dares to approach.

Extreme drunkenness is socially acceptable The icebreaker of course, is alcohol, and I have little doubt that if it vanished from the Earth tomorrow Danes would never reproduce. Extreme drunkeness seems to be the accepted way to meet that special someone, as explained to me in the days when I still was seeking a Danish boyfriend.

Then in the morning you decide if you want to be boyfriend and girlfriend. This one-night stand culture is very difficult for foreigners to understand.

One-night stands certainly take place in the US, but it is something unusual and embarassing, like making a lot of money in Denmark. What do we tell the kids? Here, drunken sex with a complete stranger seems to be the hopeful prelude to a serious relationship, possibly marriage.

If children result from this, it is hard to imagine what their parents tell them about the night Mom and Dad first met. Which leads me back to dancing.

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Here is what I have learned: in Denmark, it is bad manners to ask a girl to dance, but it is good manners to get very drunk, make sure she is drunk too, and ask her to come back to your place. She will quite likely say yes, if only in a misguided audition for the role of girlfriend, leaving you both a little sad and bitter the next morning.

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Long ago, before I ever thought of living here, a Danish woman told me that her country was a place with a lot of sex but not very much love. I wonder.

You are saying it like its a bad thing?

simply ridiculous. Yes

I really dont see the alternative. Meet people while sober? What is this, prison camp?


I spent a month and a half traveling through Europe last summer and Denmark was one of my stops. I can very much say this is how it appeared to me while I was there.

Even when walking down the street people in general avoid making eye contact. A Danish girl I met told me basically the exact same thing when I asked her about this.

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We kept in touch and met in jamaica for vacation. Every time strangers would try to talk to us, she felt kinda uncomfortable as they are not used to that. Overall Denmark was my favorite place to visit and Copenhagen is just amazing. I would go back there for sure whenever I get the chance.

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Breaking the barrier at first can difficult but once you get to know people there, they are some of the friendliest people you could ever meet. Very humorous!!

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Im a US woman looking for a danish love and very much enjoyed and appreciated the insight. After a month in Copenhagen, I would say that this seems to hold fairly true.

I miss not feeling short, and now know how it must feel to be cm 4cm below average back home.

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