December 1st, by Nick Notas 5 Comments. That mentality enables them to have fun experiences and coincidentally see great results. In fact, you may see the dating process as anything BUT fun. To you, it could be a grueling, anxiety-ridden experience filled with awkwardness and rejection. So how do you change that? How do you learn to have more fun and therefore, see more romantic success?
Very importantly, the process is different depending on why you are dating. If you are Dating to Find Your Ideal Partnerbe crystal clear; the more you know what you want the more likely you will be successful finding your ideal partner. If you are Dating for Friendship or to Create Social Opportunitiestake the time to find the right words to let the people you are dating know that you are not ready for a committed relationship.
Be a good observer of your feelings and behavior. Let the people you date experience you in the places in which you are the most comfortable doing the things that you most love. Approach dating as a process of discovery, realizing that the end of the process is discovering your ideal match; it will save lots of wear and tear on your emotions.
We create our life and our love life through our beliefs, intentions and the actions we take in the world. Create an image of your life with your ideal partner that includes anything and everything you ever wanted, using as many rich details as you can. Become an expert on BOTH you and your ideal partner by identifying major life areas that are important to you both. Bring a fresh curiosity to each new person you meet.
Appreciate yourself for your courage and trust that your efforts will be richly rewarded. To communicate clearly and effectively you must understand there are two sides to every communication-one who sends the communication and one who receives it.
Likewise, there are two methods of communication-verbal and non-verbal communication. Effective listening is the ability to receive, attend to, interpret and respond appropriately to the purpose of the sender.
Pay attention to what isn't said-to feelings, facial expressions, gestures, posture and other nonverbal cues.
Respond to the speaker with verbal and nonverbal cues that confirm you are listening and understanding. The sender wants to be understood! Make eye contact, settle down, breathe deeply-become a receiver of information, thoughts and feelings being expressed by the sender.
Let go of your own agenda, opinions, advice and judgments while you are listening. Ask clarifying questions and invite the sender to say more. These are three essential life skills and absolute requirements of a loving, lasting relationship. Setting personal boundaries requires that you have knowledge about your needs, values, attitudes, beliefs, likes, dislikes and preferences.
Making and keeping agreements and commitments comprise fundamental ingredients of any relationship.
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Not honoring the agreements or commitments you make with people is a betrayal of your relationship with that person. Crafting elegant agreements is a process that includes three essential keys: 1 know who you are and what you need, want, value and believe; 2 become willing and able to honor who you are and ask for what you want; and, 3 find your courage and accurately articulate all that to another person.
Complaining is a healthy way to convey your grievances and objections when your desires and needs go unmet.
I believe this mindset is the root of why many men can't enjoy the dating process. I used to see this in myself and with other guys that were obsessed with "picking up women". They'd go out and experience what I called the Emotional Rollercoaster. Dating is a process with a beginning, middle and end. Very importantly, the process is different depending on why you are dating. If you are Dating to Find Your Ideal Partner, be crystal clear; the more you know what you want the more likely you will be successful finding your ideal partner. If you are Dating for Friendship or to Create Social Opportunities, take the time to find the right. Dating is a process that, if done properly, can lead to a loving, lasting relationship. Relationship Counseling during phases 2 & 3 may be necessary in order to reach the higher phases, especially if significant problems arise such as insecurity, mistrust, infidelity, immaturity, emotional withdrawal, anger issues, and or abuse.
Request a change after you have aired your complaint. These are signs that you feel powerless and undeserving. Settling for less is often the result of not recognizing that your thoughts, attitudes, beliefs, needs and wants are legitimate.
Compromising and negotiating can only occur when you honor and respect your thoughts, attitudes, values, beliefs, needs and wants, hopes and dreams and deem them legitimate. Please Register or Login to post new comment. Access the best success, personal development, health, fitness, business, and financial advice So instead, girls are less engaged and attracted to you.
Starting to have fun with dating begins by shifting your perspective inward. You need to let go of trying to figure out how SHE can have fun and instead prioritize. Because this is the most important thing you need to understand.
That will almost always trump everything else.
He would rather find someone who can appreciate his real personality than pretend to be someone else. Definitely not. But they ARE attracted to the fact that he gives no fucks about what people think and can truly let loose.
The 12 Rules of Dating
That outweighs everything else. Enjoying yourself is not only about making jokes and laughing. And therefore having connections or conversations that are engaging, fulfilling, and amusing to you.
This is just an interaction with one random person. Every single date he hid that side of himself.
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He thought it would be too off-putting. Finally, on a date a girl asked him about his guilty pleasures. She started opening up about her more eccentric side and they developed real chemistry. They ended up spending the night together. That could be with a certain friend or family member. Think about how you interact with them.
What subjects could you talk about forever? How do you express your opinions with them? What kind of humor do you use? How loud or passionate do you get?
Do you like to get sarcastic and absurd? Trust that if you do that, the results will come. How often do you laugh on dates or when you meet someone new? Are you having fun during those experiences? Consistently escalate your dates from friendly to flirty. Sign up below to get immediate access to the First Date Field Manual.
Thanks for the new perspective. Would love a more lighthearted date! I can totally relate to what you express in this article. Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. Contact Media About Home.
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Click Here To Learn More! Some men seem to have natural, effortless charm with women. The trap of entertaining everyone else No one looks forward to going out and getting rejected. Shift your perspective inward Starting to have fun with dating begins by shifting your perspective inward.