It was a year after college, and the person asking me that was a guy I had just started casually dating. He actually was a couple inches taller than me, but the question caught me off guard. It was as if he had peeped in on my mental conversation earlier that afternoon, when I was debating whether I should wear wedges or flats. Years before this, I went to an all-female high school, which meant that if there were going to be boys present at a dance, we had to invite them. I distinctly remember brainstorming who I was going to invite to my first dance as a freshman. Sure, Mark was my buddy from childhood-we talked on AIM all the time.
On the other you get a narcissistic, difficult, self-obsessed, coldly logical man who is much more concerned with ideas than feelings, and much more concerned with himself than with you. You will STILL be attracted to geniuses, but you now know that they do not make for a good fit in your life. Never have. Never will.
Very smart. Always want things your way. It certainly describes my clients. And when two people who are that smart, that opinionated, and that strong-willed get together, it should obvious that sparks will fly - and tensions will mount.
The key to your future successful relationships is going to come in opening up to smart guys without all the baggage that comes from being brilliant and driven. It does mean that you need to accept men who are not in the 98th percentile of intelligence, and recognize that there are plenty of amazing, bright, relationship-oriented men who may not be smarter than you.
But I spent the first 35 years of my life chasing women who were just like me - the smartest women in the room. And I put up with the same things that you have to deal with from men - selfishness, difficulty, self-righteousness and so on.
My female friends want it all, height, money, intelligence, looks, full head of hair etcthe guys i know who have it all for the most part are happy with a fun, attractive girl.
Why is there such a discrepancy? Yet somehow, women still look for alternative explanations.
Evan, I wanted to take issue with this Tweet. And my response is way longer than characters. Men are not as direct as they claim to be. For instance, if a guy is stringing a woman along in a FWB situation, he does he say? Too honest about my intentions. Very happily taken by a smart man now. Are we supposed to be impressed with your accomplishment? You assuming he may be ready sometime with you is all assumption on your part.
No man and no woman is exactly alike. No one group likes to be painted with broad brushes Not even prisoners on death row. This is equivalent to a woman wanting sex, but not wanting, nor seeking parenthood.
If one person falls out of conformity, than surely there is another. Before you answer that, answer this, why are there so many single men who have clear definite relationship goals? I think that is good advice. No one has a crystal ball and knows if a relationship will last or where it will go.
Put energy into creating the best relationship today, who knows what tomorrow holds. Lawyerette, What a marvelous study in the fundamentals of contradiction! You know I love the way you look in those jeans, and your slender form fits into them perfectly. Get me? It means exactly what he said. Men spin things because women require them to.
Im dating someone smarter than me
Robert the Bruce. Like Evan, I am an intellectual snob but I keep it well hidden most of the time. Must be my Southern Belle training, which, all things considered, has served me very well over the years in a variety of situations, not just romantic.
I mean, I guess I come across as cerebral, been told I am very strong, smart, informed, well read etc. To repeat, I am Many are friends, and not just casually. Knows all the gender wars ends and outs. Will make mincemeat of me eventually. They seldom return the favor. First class! I have always been attracted to smarter men.
In my life I have dated men dumber than me, and it never worked out. Highly intelligent are my downfall. I think I may be too dumb to talk to you. Anyways, I am incredibly attracted to highly intelligent men. Any man who enjoy doing that with me gets my motor running. Every single one of these types of men have never worked out.
However, you know the type of men who truly are into me? The men who always want a second date or a third or a fourth? The not so brilliant dudes. It hurts my heart every time one of them goes gaga for me.
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They are the sweetest men, but conversations with them are like getting my teeth drilled at the dentist. I really try to give it them a chance, but it is so difficult. And, I know the aversion and difficulty I have dating this sort of man is exactly why I am single to this day. I am an intellectual snob and it is keeping me single. If you are in the 95th percentile, try dating down to the 75th percentile. He liked me and asked for my number. I trying!
Jun 22, I originally wrote this answer for the following question > Ladies, would you marry someone who isn't as smart as you? If not, how do you find love if you belong to the 99th percentile?, but I think it applies here as well. I have dated both. 10 Signs Someone Is Smarter Than You. I've been dating this man for about 5 weeks. We've seen each other about 8 times. This is the first man in a LONG time that I've dated who truly treats me like a queen.
Get over yourself. I did and it really helped. Most people assume that intelligence is what they think it is, many are wrong. When people mention intelligence it tends to mean intellectual, but for a successful relationship emotional intelligence is required.
And I do think that men have it easier in that respect. The highly intellectual man probably prefers a less intellectual woman - less of a threat. As a British woman of Caribbean descent, I can also identify with the shock people show when you are well spoken and articulate; very frustrating.
Home > Blog > Dating > Why Being Attracted to Smarter Men tricky game the more money you save the more your so called friends gonna try to makes you spend so watch out for me im a single BLACK MAN ihave learn all of this from watching others people mistake so i never had a problem with this kind of stuff i never been married or got any kids. I've dated someone way smarter than me, and it worked out well until we got jobs in different countries. I've dated someone way dumber than me and it did not work out well. I'm pretty average when it comes to intelligence, so someone way dumber than me is really dumb, but someone way smarter than me might not be genius level, just really smart. May 02, I spent two years in a loving relationship with an incredible woman, who was not exceptionally bright. She even repeatedly brought up the same fear to me; she worried she was boring and my intelligence made her think I would leave her for someone.
That felt threatening to him. I think that Evan has a point though. In a relationship it is more about how you work together as a partnership, especially if you have a family and that highly intellectual discussions will go on the back burner. Maybe you need to shift your own internal balance to get out of your head more and in doing so attract someone on your intellectual wavelength.
Thanks for your thoughts. I think emotional intelligence tends to come naturally to a good majority of people.
I tend to not have an issue meeting men with emotional intelligence. You just let it seem natural.
Nah, it doesn't bother me. Someone has to be smarter, someone has to be the breadwinner, someone has to be the skinnier one, you get the point. Comparing things like that can only lead to problems. Well said. There's a lot more important things to look for in a partner than raw intelligence. Such as compassion and honesty. These traits aren't mutually exclusive, but if . Sep 03, "Would you ever consider dating a guy who was shorter than you?" It was a year after college, and the person asking me that was a guy I had just started casually dating. He actually was a couple inches taller than me, but the question caught me off saporiviafrancigena.com: Maria Walley.
You just look so cute standing on that little ledge. Love you! I mean, what else are you supposed to do?
You would go insane. So you call him your "little munchkin" and ask if he can reach the top shelf without a stool. The issue is that he is already self-conscious about his petite stature.
It helps you feel less awkward about it. But it makes him feel bad. He likes to talk about his huge dick He likes to brag about his career and how successful he is. He has a classic Napoleon complex. He talks loudly, makes crazy jokes and always wants to be the life of the party. You love him, but it can really be a bit much.
He tries harder, and he's funnier and nicer than the tall douchebags who don't put in the effort. The short guys are the real winners.
By Gigi Engle. I think the most important thing at the moment is that you both like each other. To me it seems like he likes you. Do you like him or are you just intimidated by him? You have to understand this pretty well before you move on to a next stage.
Assuming you really like him, I would say it is normal to be somewhat intimidated by your partner both as a woman and a man. He is probably intimidated by you too, and all this is also cute and romantic. You can try to learn more about his interests and see whether they sound interesting to you too. Conversation is important. You also have to be a little bit more self-confident. You certainly have your own interests and he might like them as well.
Edited on December 27, at UTC by the author. RhinoMan Send a private message. Don't mind the gap. Having been on his side of the table, I can tell you this: he isn't overly concerned with what you do or don't know. You make him feel good. You make him laugh and smile. Sounds like he does the same for you.
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Your style, determination, and grace won him over, and they will keep him interested. No need to study up, either.
You may get bored with too much of it, and that's OK to tell him eventually, and gently. UsernameNumber Send a private message. Coming from someone who considers themselves an intellectual: relationships bound on intellectual similitude are taxing. I very much prefer women with a very different focus. Not only is there nothing wrong with that gap, but it projects a very good point.
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People don't just want to be with people who are similar to them. People want to be with people that they feel fills a void in their life. Some people want intellectual companionship, but others don't. And then comes ego at play. You need to assess if this is a personal insecurity, or a discomfort on how HE acts. YOU are the important part of this equation, and if you know that, I think you won't have much to worry about, because you'll figure out what you want.