Please refresh the page and retry. L ife expectancy across the globe is rising all the time; the latest statistics tell us that people born in will live an average of seven years longer than those born 25 years earlier. One way that many people are making the most of their later years is by forging new romantic connections in their fifties and sixties. Over 50s dating can be just as fun, exciting and rewarding as it is in your twenties - with the bonus that it tends to come with much less drama. The truth is that when you are in your fifties this is the perfect time to take up a new activity.
Let us know in the comments below! Which is why I decided. After my husband passed away I figured I had it good and that my time. I am in the same situation as you, and I agree the world of dating and relationships between men and women has changed and not for better.
We were the lucky ones to have what we had. Healthy, kind and respectful relationships. Going on dates through dating sites always made the other person and myself feel awkward and uncomfortable. It felt un-natural. I connect better with the opposite sex on a non-date connection. I understand how that could be a better way, Alan, but for us older senior citizens it is difficult meeting people in our age range.
They just contacted me because of my looks. I wanted someone in my local and surrounding area, but I was getting contacts from the other side of the country. I was specific in my profile.
Is someone really going to travel to miles to date regularly? And not to be rude, but one foot i the grave. My profile again was specific about the age bracket I was looking for to meet my compatible physical fitness. Ask some questions before meeting in person.
What are your absolute deal breakers? See if you can identify any before wasting your time. Not reading your profile he is a big MAGA guy and you are liberal- yikes!
Meet ups with people with similar interest is a good start. Learning to do things alone also. For those of us finding ourselves starting over after 50, loving yourself and spending time with you is an important part of the process. Good common sense food for. Everyone has different ideas and it is not a one size fits all formula.
People are unique in their own way, and I respect that. I try to keep an open mind and have fun. Know your limitations and keep your boundaries. Trust is earned on an individual basis. Women are totally different today than years ago which makes it much more difficult for many of us men looking for a very serious relationship now. And that is why love came very easy in the old days with no trouble at all either.
Today most women are very money hungry and real golddiggers since they will only go with men with money which makes these kind of women just real users and total losers altogether now. Maybe she was use to a man who was devoted to her, before he passed away, and financially took the lead role.
Hi, i m 69 yrs old. Quiet active. On no prescriptions. I love the outdoors. Camping, fishing etc. I can also be a homebody. Hmm, sounds like an unfair generalization! Absolutely everything is different, and you have accumulated a lifetime of wisdom and experiences.
When you are young, you know so little about life, you have worked through difficult situations and now is the time to enjoy the rewards, have fun and not have to worry about making ends meet. Single woman, rattling around in the house alone.
I can only find money-hungry losers and gold-digging men who want to use me for money. It is extremely off-putting to discover how unchivalrous, ungentlemanly and mindlessly mean, some people can be. I have settled for being single until my last breath now.
What is the world coming to. Amen Sister. I feel the same way. I lost my husband at the age of 50 and tried on-line dating. I prefer to be alone. Your creativity and zest for life is gone. Go hang out with your male friends who you can whine with. I can do better!
Why online dating over 50 doesn't work and what you should do about it
Online dating does work for me. I think there are a lot more eligible good quality older women than there are eligible good quality old men. So if a guy is not a bum, the odds are in his favor. Not all women are gold diggers,some just want to belong to someone ,to share experiences. I met some great ladies. There definitely is a gender shift in numbers as we age. Many women have kept much better care of themselves. Unfortunatrlt the selection of fit males diminishes. Anyways, we go for a hike or cycle every day.
Dating at 50 uk
Dance once a week. Tom Demarsh, you are an inspiration! I am glad you found someone I wish the 2 of you much happiness! I wish more men your age would follow your example. Unfortunately, many of them do not want to date women their age. The 20somethings were a little temping lol. But, seriously, I just want someone somewhere around my age not that I would rule out older or younger men if we had a lot in common that I can enjoy life with.
They want a 55 yr old guy that looks 30 and that is it. In 4 years of being on line seeking a man over 50 I have found ONE that I dated and actually had a relationship with. The rest were phony, pompous, arrogant and very insecure. Does that mean they want a woman to go out with, but she is free to date other men, and vice versa?
How would that actually work? And if I get the nerve up and ask, they suddenly disappear! Does not stop me from living, things just take longer. Especially music wise. My favorite is the Blues and always rock and roll. My life did a I like to say but as I have been told I have lived all ready for 3 people.
Things have changed for me but I am still going to live just not enough for 3. I am in the Boston area. Maybe a bit of a chat. Sophie 3. Im 54 and I am on a couple of dating sites. I post just my profile picture, username, age and city and that is it! I get 25 to 30 messages a day from different woman and an average of 45 - 50 that have viewed my profile.
So I have to agree with Dave. You can meet someone at any age.
I think that women Kitty is a jackass. If you are looking, you will find someone. These are negative stereotypes and utter bull. John, you are so right. Be open to your likes as well as the person in your life and above all be honest. Life is definitely easier for women!
It is insane to think otherwise. Consider a few facts: 1. Women have the ability to go out an any given night and be outnumbered 3 to 1 by men.
Men are looking for someone to just acknowledge them. Does anyone really believe that men are not the most docile people in the ordinary family.
Consider the body differences ovulation and PMS and just consider how often women are friends with other women. Men have friends from childhood. Women rule the world and it is not pretty behind closed doors.
Case in point why men are looking for younger women. That means emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical. I have nothing against sex and I feel it is an important part of a successful loving relationship. Hi Debbie, I read your last couple of replies and agree with you about sticking to your values.
Do not let anyone make you feel differently. I do enjoy sex and I crave that closeness with a loving partner. If you men want the younger women then go for it. I prefer someone around my age because I will have more in common with that man and hopefully they will have the same level of maturity.
Wow no comparisonBest love I have ever had. Not all are divorced - some are widowed as I am. Kathy, I am a guy who has an older lady friend and we are very open with each other.
She is still quite beautiful at 70 and is newly divorced. She told me that her husband has ED problems and has for years. The last time I talked to her she was thrilled at how many young men were wanting to date her. She is still quite sexual and has had several men much younger, says she feels like 30 again.
As much as I still enjoy sex at 50, for me sex is a special act, sacred even, shared between two people who really care about each other. I think it is the most precious gift you can give another person. Those are just my standards. I will date to find my forever friend and marry and then consummate the marriage.
Giving myself away to a man with sex is degrading. The relationship ends and where are you? There are many women in other cultures who do not have sex before marriage and they expect to be seriously pursued by men who are capable of supporting then as well as their families on certain cases and it end up producing very long-term and successful marriages.
Maybe American women should study the other cultures too see if any of their practices would work for them. Ya, I caught that as well. It is a medical fact that women past menopause no longer desire sex what I do not understand is why women are on dating sites when they are no interested in the physical side - at best it is very nasty. At least there are women over 50 who are honest in the descriptions and make it very clear that they are no longer interested in sex.
That makes us all feel so much better. Thank you. Yes freindships are important but to say that the chances of finding someone are THAT bleak is just mean. I live on this world for over 50 years. I have friends and coworkers dating women from online websites, casual encounters, everything. And I never saw a guys over 50 with women 20 years younger. Except celebrities who can really do it, all talk about guys preference to date women the age of their daughters is just a cliche.
Not true at all. I see this repeated on this website many times and I wonder where it comes from. This is just a BS. They ALL come with children and usually they are from different countries so they also upgrade the lifestyle for their children.
That is my experience. Sorry ladies. Everyday Joe gets anything he can put his hands on to save money on massage with happy ending. Old, overweight, dressed up as men, with bad hygiene and horrible attitudes, full of baggage from previous marriages. These guys hope for the best, do their best, try very hard, and eventually run away from them. Usually the next morning. I see this happening over and over again. It happened to me, too. What a terrible thing to say. This is definitely a generational thingand my generation just did not produce great relational partners.
We are the transitional generation. The peanutbutter between the baby boomers and turn of the century kids. We got the shaft being middle kids.
Nice attitude. I choose to keep an open mind and not judge people. That I find hard to believe! I live in Boise, Idaho as a male, it is horrible. So, women do have it better at least here in the Treasure Valley, Idaho. Guess that depends on what part of the country they are in.
The ratio here in Boise, Idaho favors women. I am moving to Raleigh, NC in a few days. Kinda getting sick of it! When most of the people here are married or have a girlfriend, the odds go down. You will find someone, men are not all the same. Not all men in their 50s want to start a new family, with a younger lady.
We might want to be able to relate, talk about commonalities etc. Men might be fun shy by 50, not wanting drama, or gold diggers. So find your match, might have to look harder. As for men older than you, be aware that those years and our shorter life span conspire. So you are 65, and that dude is 75 with less miles and poorer health prospects.
We know people in that boat 65 year old lady, who cannot travel with her less than healthy hubby. Food for thought. Kitty, Interesting. I became a widower in after nearly 20 years of marriage to my same age partner. She died just after our 50th birthday. We had sons ages 14 and 16 in the home. She died of breast cancer. I had not dated much prior to my marriage primarily due to my career demands in a family business.
But I enjoyed being a family man. I started going out about a year after becoming a widower. My wife had two children from prior marriage who were outraged. Our two sons were ok with me going off. I would not call it dating at first.
Looking back, I was learning to breathe again. Some women were mean. I am an inherently monogamous person, but several women had casual sexual relations with prior lovers while showing serious interest in me.
One lady asked me to work on her computer and while there, discovered her midnight escapades, sometimes after I dropped her off from an evening. One received a call on her phone machine while I sat in living room and she in her bathroom inquiring if I had left yet and to call, he was circling the block. One called me late one evening, drunk, to tell me she missed me. I had gone camping with my sons.
She was a Sunday school teacher. I went to her house to find her passed out in the floor, door unlocked. We talked. My point is, it is really confusing out there.
Me get mixed signals. Usually a sign of some extended emotional codependency going on involving sex. Hi, I am 72, wid0wer, my wife had been sick for 10 years, some time at home, then a Care Home, then a Nursing home. I have been out with some ladies, I am amazed. They were or were old enough to be nannies, They are nothing like you would think of a nanner.
They appear to have been to the gym for an hour a day! I am not complaining, as I see sometimes 2 or 3 one week, then 4 another week. Excellent content. But, if any of you ladies know of any ladies in Treasure Coast Fl that would like to connect and have some fun just email me or contact me 7 7 two 9 nine nine right 1 three 3. Than why bother looking for someone? I could say is hahaha. The grass is greener on the other side. Because women are never satisfied.
Emotionally sexually. Financially men are never Rich enough. Your wisdom is flawed. Lumping all women into one category is ignorant. I did all I could to prevent it. Some men are the ones not satisfied, even when they have a faithful, supportive, loving spouse. I am recently divorced August I agree.
You have to be happy first. Men my age play too many games smdh. Good luck men with those 40 somethings with young children. I am your age and younger men than me are being attracted to me. Initially when I became single again I gave those men attention, after few dates I found them extremely boring. I simply ignore the attention they give me. Since my separation I had many accomplishments at work and i rebuild my social life as a single woman with many friends.
I am very happy being single. I know I will continue to have great accomplishments with or without a man in my life. I have a son who I have great relationship with. We reads books together and we are interested in the same issues. He gives me great support for all my work accomplishments. When he will leave the nest I probably will feel lonely, but I will not waste my time looking for a man, because the selection is.
You have to remember that this time what you are looking for is not clear. The first time you wanted husband house and kids. The second time the wants are not that clear and therefore more difficult to find. Also you have to remember that we live in a disposable society if something is not quite right about someone we simply dump him.
That makes it more difficult to get to know people. The question will be if you will do something about him or simply let him go.
English your second language? Your post says not to give up but is about how you gave up because of you need for constant entertainment rather than compatibility. Not amount of education and social status will ever be attractive to a straight man.
You bore easily because YOU are the bore. If you have no interest in dating, why are you posting here. At fifty six and single with kids a decade. Utah of those I was a steel contractor. Honesty and integrity are so important. I hope you find someone who appreciates you. Debbie, you should open an agency.
That is very sweet, Igor. Thank you for your kind words. It is simple, really. Sounds like there is not enough love in the world. I like spreading some around in the hopes that one day I will find a nice man to spend my life with who will love me back. It is said that what you put out into the world will come back to you. And I suspect that women feel the same way but am not sure so I am asking here.
The eldest with her boyfriend of 11 years. From time to time they join us for dinners or game nights or just to watch a movie. I view my job at this stage, being to help my three kids save for their first houses. I derive a lot of pleasure out of sharing my time with five very fine young men and women whom I am proud to call family.
I wonder though if women feel a sense of freedom at a different stage in parenting or age presumably of their youngest child than a man does. Is it when your child finishes high school, graduates university, gets that first job, moves out of the family house, gets married, has a child of their own? I know that a parent is always bonded to their children and suspect that bond is maybe stronger for a mother than for a father, but at what stage do you reckon a single mother feels free of her parenting responsibility?
Some weeks I have slackers for varying reasons but on balance they do what is expected of them - they are good house mates! They are a pleasure to be around and not a burden even though I sometimes get ticked off when I feel one of them is not pulling their weight as they ought to. For me that sense of freedom came around about the time that my youngest explained his strategy for completing his undergraduate, masters, PhD course of study.
He put my mind at ease that although his timetable is not the timetable I would have chosen at the same age it is what he is comfortable with and what he is confident about. I know that he will land on his feet even if he encounters a setback. What a kind, noble Father you are!
I have a 22 year old son at Uof I and a daughter who is a senior in H. Still deciding on colleges. I devoted my life to my children, and have no regrets.
It is time for me. With or without. God speed. Well, I may not need a man to rescue me financially or help raise children, but I not only need a partner, I want a partner. What do I need? Hugs, physical touch, someone to touch in the night, it is a very lonely place without the very thing many of us divorced people took for granted.
You cannot buy genuine intimacy, that must come from give and take. So yes, I have the career, the stability, the grown children, but I would be at my finest with a friend and lover beside me, a strong man. Now I want to be your loving companion and friend and live with you in harmony, love, understanding, and just being there for you to hold you tight and embrace you on all your lonely nights!
At least you are truthful. Face it, we all want what you said if we are healthy normal people. What would she need him for, anyway? Wanting is not the same as needing. I graduated at 17, met my husband.
I continued to do what I call all of the mom things and loved doing those thingswatching her cheer. Just continue to be honest to tell all men to avoid you unless they also do not want a sexual relationship. Wish all women were that honest! Thanks for posting this, Linda. After divorce, some strange realizations are surely in store for both sexes. One is how much your dating pool has shrunk since you were last looking for love.
Another is how poorly most Americans have been taking care of themselves. Unlike most I think people dating after 40, I set about educating myself thoroughly about how attraction is created in both sexes, so as to put my very best self forward.
This gave me a stronger sense of self, a stronger sense of masculinity and how to express it, and a stronger sense of where women are coming from and the cues they naturally give us. What continues to surprise me is what little effort is put forth in general by the age appropriate women, in all venues combined, to meet.
An attractive woman in her 20s may sit coyly and bat her eyes, and merely select her choice of suitor from the ensuing male attention. But what are the 40s and 50s women thinking? In my experience, she is not putting herself out there. Perhaps her excuses have become self-fulfilling. But why should I give up? It could be that women in their 40s and 50s are lost in finding their role in this new age of dating.
What do you think? It is because women beyond menopause are not interested in men - I do not understand why this so difficult - there is so much information out there to support this very common knowledge. Just look up marriage statistics provided by the census. Once women hit 50 they outnumber men and it gets progressively worse each passing year.
So if a women thinks sitting around waiting for prince charming is a good strategy, time is not your friend, so good luck with that!
I really feel this is too negative. I have kept in shape and work and looking good and being kind and interesting, positive not jaded. In the real world and online, I have men from mid 40s onward interested. Most are around my age.
I haven found the right one yet, but I see a lot of similar ages people getting together even though men and some women dream about getting someone much younger. The dating pool is none existent when you have kids at my age any suggestions. You are to old to have kids that young anyway.
Now that your fascination with your young thang is over. Screw that. Try to meet women who also have young children. We are out here and looking for the same thing. Life stage is equally important as age. There are many women that would love to get to know a man who is widowed with small children, including myself. Hang in there! You will find someone if you stay positive and take good care of yourself.
He is remarried to a lovely younger woman and their family has now grown to four children. I think the odds are in your favor but you have to stay positive, be a good companion and have a sense of humor.
It is obvious you succeeded before and you will againage is only a number. What about early 40s, never been married and zero children, do not want children ever, and do not care whether or not I ever marry, or just have a years long relationship unmarried? Thats a category of people I know for women, myself included. Not everyone wants kids. Not all women get married either. I am perfectly happy as is. You want someone who cares about you, not who sees you as an accessory.
Can we all finally agree men are fundamentally defective? Sounds like even more fun. After everything Ive done, succeeded at and been through thats my value? Paying to be a nanny. Any wonder the world is in such a mess. Looking around women are doing pretty well for themselves without the guys, and the guys are a train wreck. No it means even good men have to make compromises because so many of us girls have got jack of it all and taken ourselves off the market to focus on things that unlike dating are rewarding.
Considering globalization, immigration, the rising 3rd world and how the favouring of boy babies in some cultures has left their population short of women it may even swing the other way for the following generatons.
I already know women my age and older who have married well educated, attractive and well rounded Asian and Indian men and they are very happy. A few have married younger men as well with the same result, those men seem to try more to make a good relationship.
Apparently, you were the leavee and not the leaver in your marriage.
Aug 23, After a break of three decades, Candida Crewe finds dating at 50 is still rife with risk Candida Crewe Sat 23 Aug EDT First published on Sat 23 Aug EDT. Aug 28, You've been through the rigmarole of dating later in life: scrolling through the internet, awkward first dates, second dates filled with promise, and disappointing third dates. Now, you've finally found someone on the over 50 dating scene that you think might, just might, be the one. A's a man in his mid 50's dating a woman in her mid 30's, I will tell you the reason. There years ago I became single, I had this woman around my age who was very keen to go out with me. I told her Ilike her but I have one rule, that is we split the bill on the first date.
I was also the leavee and did not want a divorce, nor believe that God would support the dissou lution of the marriage of 33 years that only he could have orchestrated from the beginning. I feel like you need to further examine your attitude moving forward. If not, you have a high probability of your life ending single and alone. Make no mistake about it. Your right about one thing though: There are not a lot of good men out there in the 50 plus population. I would like to think I can still find love again at any age.
Kids are grown and married, so I only have myself to take. Would you like to meet me? Well said.
Its still hard to find a country guy, not just a booty call. Im lookin for dailey companion for long term say 35 yrs plus. Been there i completely agree that many NOT all! It is no wonder that women who have witnessed these delusional types has no respect towards men in general and keep spreading that bad reputation.!
Damn, you are my mentor.
1. Filters are your enemy
Thinking maybe I should just dump him. I may have more confidence single. Being with someone makes me feel insecure I want to be free, confident, happy, and proud. This came from my aunt who loved and adored her husband. Time will tell. Listen to your heart. That was so funny and yet wise and true. You must have grown up in West Virginia? Where the men are men and the sheep are nervous. Sorry about your luck.
We are pigs, oink, oink. An article in the saporiviafrancigena.com even went so far as to encourage women to go after much younger men, can you imagine if someone wrote an article like that encouraging 50yo men to go after 20something women? That author would be attacked immediately. Your post is the best of all!! This is coming from a younger woman who accidently stumbled upon this site.
Not even short term in most instances. A lot of older men do not have their stuff together as they should. Even the ones who have it together financially seems not to have anything else to offer other than that. I will pass on the older guy as he really, really needs to start looking at women his own age. There is nothing worse than a 50s, 60s, and 70s yo male chasing a woman in her 30s. No daddy issues on this end, guys from 30 to 45 only.
At one time I had no less than 15 male friends between ages of in my phone. Some I met personallysome on dating siteothers school mates. All very interested in having a serious relationship. Me being a gemini and freshly out of a 22 yr marriage is in no hurry for anything serious.
Nov 21, The title should be "Why Dating (period) over 50 doesn't work". I've been divorced since I was in my early 40's. I'm on my 3rd relationship since my divorce and the problem is it's just almost impossible to acclimate to dating again late in life, and especially after being married for awhile. Dec 10, The truth about online dating for overs: which websites are best for grown-ups? But 15 million people in the UK are registered for online dating and one in five relationships now start online. It's the third most popular way to meet (after pubs and through friends). 5 things to keep in mind when dating over
The key ladies is having self confidence in yourself. Then again I look nowhere near 51I look no older than Good genes runs in my family I guess. So ladieslike a gentleman told me. Never step out of the house without looking your best because you never know who you might meet. It means looking as SEXY and attractive as possible. I dated attractive women a few years either side of my age. I found my wonderful gsl. I love her to pieces. We are attracted to fit, good looking females.
That is a given. I really dont care about your successes in life, where you have travelled, etc. Beyond this? Someone who has enthusiasm in life and has energy. I expect that shewill get a bit of a thrill from it. I spend a good chunk of my life being respondible.
Never smoked. Never tried drugs. Never been out of shape. She can be my wife, partner, etc. I would like to meet you Mike McCain! How very well thought out, and presented.
Maybe we all get too serious as we get older? This is great! I enjoyed reading your story Mike. The first impression is the lasting one, and as such, it is the reality that we judge first by looks. And as you navigate through the relationship with your loved one, it should be a promise you make to each other to stay relatively fit and attractive. The way you take care of yourself is an indicative of how you feel about yourself. Not surprising at all to this something guy. I am in my mid 40s and have been in an unhappy marriage for many years.
I must be one of those rare men because I find women in their 50s mentally stimulating therefore attractive. Once I can end my marriage I most likely will not date a woman younger than in her late 40s. Older women, for the most part, have life experience and know what they want.
The maturity they bring with them is what I seek. They compliment my desire to grow and be a wiser man than I was yesterday. They offer so much outside of the bedroom which makes the whole relationship to be built on more solid grounds. I am fit and attractive but I would never be fooled by the beauty without maturity which is something many young women lack.
For the time being I just have to be patient until the time is right. Lots of interesting perspectives. I am 62 and separated. One shoe really does not fit all. After 8 months I am finally at the stage where I accept my life going forward is going to be vastly different. And that is it, just different not better not worse only different.
It is totally up to me to live my life happily. Whether I will ever share my life again with someone is not really a concern of mine. If it happens fine, if not fine too. I was always independent and will continue to remain independent. Each new person I meet has something new to offer. I am not bitter, I feel for my ex-husband who now sports a tattoo.
Kind of sad when you still have to find yourself over Life has a lot to offer and I plan to take full advantage of it. But never ever become defeated or bitter. What I am up against is this: I have a full, satisfying life as a single divorced 5 years woman, but I want a loving partnership with a significant other.
I am having a hard time meeting men my age who are interested in women my age, as the author states. I am in therapy. I agree that it seems to be much harder for women over 50 - or over 40 actually - to find men who are their equals AND who are interested in a serious relationship with them. I see so many woman over 40 who are smart, attractive, well-educated, successful, emotionally mature, financially solvent, and have great personalities, but who get involved with men who have few or none of these qualities, or who treat them terribly.
It seems like these women feel that at least this is better than being alone. It seems logical, and research has showed that a large percentage of women are bisexual to some degree.
It may be a challenging adjustment after a lifetime of heterosexuality, but to me it seems worth it for women to be able to get a higher quality partner. There have been reports that there is indeed an increasing trend for women to switch to same-sex relationships in midlife, and I hope it continues to grow!
It seems to me that this would solve most of the problem. I would never seek or accept an erotic relationship with a woman because I am simply not interested in women sexually. I agree with you, Starlight. After being in intimate relationships with men all of my adult life there is no way I could have an intimate relationship with a woman. I am just not interested in women that way, and I like what I can have with a man.
There years ago I became single, I had this woman around my age who was very keen to go out with me. I told her Ilike her but I have one rule, that is we split the bill on the first date. For the next few weeks she was still hinting she like me but she would not bend on her sexist issue of self entitlement. I would never go out with an old woman again, they are to sexist.
Good luck with that young gal you found, enjoy it while it lasts. It may be a little old fashioned, but I prefer the original method of courtship. Nothing wrong with a little chivalry, even in this day and age. BTW - I am in shape and do consider myself attractive - but I do not think being attractive and in shape defines me? You have to reach for the best in life for YOU! Kudos to all!!! Selfish and vain people has no gender restriction. I am in my 50s, divorced a few. Years my choice.
Been told I look a bit like Tony danza. Super spiritual and pretty much have my act together. Is there even such a thing? I just really miss intimacy and male companionship. When you meet a good, kind man who has a sense of humor, life can be a lot of fun. Being with someone spiritual is even more icing on the cake for me because I am very spiritual myself.
I hope everyone finds who or what they seek. I spent 18 really terrible years married to a real harpie. I was her second husband. Even my mother-in-law and brother-in-law apologized to me on a nearly continuous basis for the way she treated me. My attorney asked me how in the world I was able to hang in there until my children were old enough to decide who they wished to live with.
He asked what the hell that was, that he needed some. Lots of bourbon. I dated half-heartedly for a few years. The oldest woman was 58, and the youngest An attorney, a banker, a respiratory therapist, computer programmer, graphic artist, dancers not ballet. I was semi-engaged three separate timesand called it off.
Drama, stress and expense. Women, in my experience, want to run the relationship. Of course, relationships require compromise at times, that goes without saying.
Nor do we want a Stepford Wife. I guess I value peace of mind and peace and quiet more than a piece of anything else. Sure, it gets lonely sometimes, but all I have to do is think about how married life was, and I suddenly feel pretty damn good! What BS! I just turned 50 this week gulp. Just got busy as well as tired of it all like many of you. Now, at 50, I want to get back on the horse and try again but am fully aware that a man who has never been married and has no kids probably gives me about a.
Rollo Tomassi on Dating Tips in Your 50s
I get it. I am extrememly fit, active, and my friends all say that I am a really good man. I have dated many wonderful women in my life that wanted to settle down with me but frankly, I was too stupid. Complimenting someone on how they look is now offensive, striking up a conversation with someone in public is unheard of, and my favorite. Wow, we have actually let all this happen to us. We should all be ashamed. I want a relationship, period. I believe a lot of people have a hard wake up call coming in their later lives!
I had to go years of being single focusing on other things to realize this. Ladies, there are a LOT of good men out there and everything they say is not wrong. Gentlemen, there are a LOT of great women out there who are not man haters. Am I wrong? Expectations have become impossible for anyone to live up to. An easier way is obviously just a swipe away, right!?
Oh wait, its already there: If we all just and I realize how silly this is to say as I type it get back to respecting each other and appreciating what each gender has to offer, we might have a chance at NOT becoming the most disconnected culture on earth. I leave you with this: Think of the times you felt that utter sense of pure giddiness and joy. Was it after you bought that super cool sportscar?
Or maybe it was when you finally got your degree at 47? That, my frustrated friends, is how you know that anything less then love is just an excuse:. I too just turned No kids. I would love a relationship again. I went through a painful divorce 7 yrs ago I did not want after a 19 yr relationship.
I then met a nice man who passed away after only two yrs together. No responses from the men I was interested in, lies on profiles, engaged men still with active profiles, etc.
Most want someone younger and who have a fat bank account. That route is not for me. Seriously Anonymous. You are so right in that technology has made a big difference in how we communicate and meet people. While it can offer convenience, it can also be cold and impersonal. I find so little satisfaction in it. The world has changed and so many are self-centered and materialistic. Not many want to put the effort into a relationship, and no relationship survives without work. I want meaning and real love in my relationship.
You are absolutely right. There is nothing quite like having that chemistry with someone, knowing your partner has your back and will stand by you no matter what. I can tell you right now that I have never felt as connected and peaceful to the core of my being as when in the arms of my partner. Just being quiet together is like nothing else in the world. I am a spiritual person and I think we were given this precious gift of connection with others as a reminder of the deep connection we have with our Creator.
If only we all could see the gift we choose to squander and minimize.
The world would be such a better place. Hats off to you, Anonymous. In my search for love again I hope I run into you! I am a 54 year old, reasonably attractive male who has never been married, but am currently on dating sites like eHarmony and Christian Mingle, etc. Some brag about their professional or life accomplishments but if you ask them what qualities they have to bring to a relationship, they just point to the same accomplishments.
Another thing I find is that women of all ages seem to have non-stop activity in their lives and expect the man to become part of that non-stop whirlwind of constant travel, parties, dancing, shopping, animal rescue, large pet menageries, raising horses, and whatever else they are into.
Me, I prefer less stress and so I guess you could say I am trying to slow life down instead of speed it up. I am not at all averse to dating women my age. If you look your age, great. I am also not bothered by scars, imperfections, mastectomies, and many other things that women might be afraid to let people see. I have my own scars and medical issues and the relentless pressure to be physically perfect is hurting many of us. But yes, there are certain things I am having a hard time getting past.
Growing old together is not a problem, but starting out feeling very mismatched is. Beyond that, I have not considered divorced women in my search up to now, but after reading your post I will gladly rethink that. I has just been a matter of fear really, of being compared to a prior significant partner. But I have considered widows, so that makes me a bit inconsistent, Lol.
In any case, what I really wish for most of all right now is having someone to talk to about all this, both male and female, who have gone through the dating scene or are going through it. I wish there were support groups for dating! Most of my friends are married or are not looking, so I do not have anyone to talk to about all this except for my therapist. It would be nice to have more people to bounce ideas off of, and have them read your profiles, etc. Not sure if anyone else feels the same.
Thanks for listening. It is nice to hear, and I appreciate your post. The points you mentioned for a meaningful relationship are points I value very much. It can be very disheartening. I hope you do consider divorced women in the future, as most women and men our age have already been married. Most, but not all. I would personally consider any nice, genuine, kind man to have a relationship with, with only a few exceptions.
Otherwise what is the point? Because of my butt kicking on more than one front, I am pretty accepting of people and their unique differences. I am also one who is not into drama, and I prefer a simple life with some periodic adventures. I am a nature girl with one horse and two dogs, but my days of raising animals is over. He gave them to me after the divorce even though they were supposed to remain with him.
If he could throw me out of his life like trash I should have known he would throw away the dogs he wanted that I raised for him. The dogs will be with me until they leave this world because I believe in owning up to my responsibilities, but after that I am done with dogs.
At our age it is very possible to have health issues and I have a few of my own. I can understand if someone else does too. I also want minimal stress in my life, and this outlook is very necessary for my overall wellness. I am certainly not the typical woman out there obsessed with activities and shopping.
I am not lazy, but I know how to relax and have peace in my life. You can read articles and join in on forum discussions on many topics.
You may find the various sites interesting and if you become a member there is a way to send me messages directly without having it posted publicly. The main site is bellaonline dot com. Maybe I will chat with you there. Well said! I relate to so much of what you wrote, being that single guy that never married. You bring up a very good pointmen our age need a place to talk about this stuff and learn from each other because, as only guys like us know, we are somewhat outcasts in society.
Hard to have large social circles at this age, seemingly impossible to meet someone in the real worldleft to the online dating environment which is flawed by its very design. Keep up the fight and the outreach. Something tells me there are millions of men like us. But the dating system is not built for us at this age. Talking about it together is a great step forward. Men need support to. You sound like a gem and good men like me love to hear kind words.