Ok, im being completely honest, i really have feelings for this girl, but i don't want are ages getting in the way of things. Do you think its wrong dating a girl thats 3yrs younger? Generally a 3 year age difference is no big deal at all but when your younger it can be a big deal. The maturing people do between 13 and 16 is HUGE, she's still in middle school and your in high school and driving. It's not that odd for a Senior to date a Freshman but 13 and 16 just sounds bad. Later on its not a big deal, 23 and 20 is nothing but 16 and 13 just seems creepy.
So as long as y'all are happy together then who cares what other people think. There jealous. So go for it. It might suck for you since most 13 yr olds cant date yet. I wasn't allowed until I was But hey if you have feelings for her and care for her then don't let age stop you.
Good luck :. There's a huge maturity difference at 16 and Personally, there's no way I would let my 13 yr old daughter go out with a 16 year old boy. And eventually, usually sooner than laterit will get to sex. There can be serious repercussions for having sex or even sexual contact, which can include a kiss with someone that young. Some states have a two year age difference statue.
That means if you get involved at her age and there's bigger than a two year age difference, you can be charged with sexual assault of a minor. Please rethink this. I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with it and i think that you are very mature to see past her age.
When you're 19 or 20, 3 years is fine but not much sooner than that. I suggest you wait a year or two, it'll be less.
Besides, both of you will mature, and then you'll see if she is that same person still, because they may become someone totally different. She's too young to be dating anyway, when I think of a 13 year old I think of a really young kid, sorry. This mostly has to do with their maturity, not appearance, I think you'll prefer to wait. You're hounded by stupid families in the neighborhoods. Answer Save. Favorite Answer. How do you think about the answers?
Also keep in mind It happens. It happened then, when I was in middle school, and it happens nowadays too. Even if the parents know or not. So, I hope your daughter had the sex talk etc, and knows about herself well enough that she does not just go and do what a boy says. Has respect for herself and is responsible and is open with you and knows, she can tell you things.
Private things, problems, curious questions etc. The human brain, is not even fully developed until 26 years old. But the genitals of a 13 year old, coupled with curiosity and peer pressure Not them.
Silent treatments and death stares from them, are nothing. If you are weak in handling this I let my daughter date at That doesn't have to be right for you. However, you may want to find ways that she can spend time with the "boyfriend" such as inviting him along on family outings, inviting him to dinner, and when you do feel it's the right time for dating, group dates are actually a good way to start!
Nope - but then again we are a little on the "off" side as far as stuff like that goes. I won't go into too much detail here but we support courtship as opposed to dating - there is a difference, I promise :- Also, it works I've seen it in young people today.
Just food for thought: a good friend of mine believes that dating is a precursor to divorcing, makes sense if ya think about it I haven't read all of the comments on here.
I'm sure you've already gotten a lot of great advice.
That being said, here's my 2 cents :. If you hadn't already established dating rules prior to this incident I can see where she would be very frustrated.
It had never been brought up before that she was too young, now all of a sudden when she's actually asking that's when you decide to make up the rules?
Not very fair for her. To help mend that part of it I would talk with your husband, decide together what is ok and not ok for her to do dating wise at 13, 14, 15, ect. First, I would start off with appologizing for the miscommunication on what the guidlines were and that they were never clearly expressed to her. Then proceed with telling her what you and your husband have agreed was appropriate going forward.
As far as the movie thing, I agree with others that if they are going in a big group of friends its ok as long as they are going to an age appropriate movie of course If it makes you uncomfortable because they want to go alone maybe your rule will be you have to be with.
You don't have to sit with them but you need to be in the theater with them. Or maybe you go together but you and your husband go to a different movie and meet them in the lobby when your movies are done.
If you decide you are just not ready for this explain that to your daughter, give her all the reasons why you think she's not ready and why you're not ready. Don't just tell her she can't do something and not explain why.
DATING ADVICE FROM A 13 YEAR OLD
That's when she'll just get mad and rebel! You also have to come to terms with the fact that she is growing up. It will probably just as hard when she's 16 and goes on her first date as it is now.
Letting go is just a part of the process of growing up. No one said it would be easy. My stepson had a "girlfriend" but we don't know much about her because they dated at his mom's house. I think that if you aren't sometimes hated by your kids, you aren't doing your job.
I'd talk to her about this - why she wants to date so young, why she is so upset with you, etc. I wouldn't want my daughter out on a double date, either, but we did allow our now yr old out on group outings in the 14 yr old age range. We've told the kids that anybody worth dating is worth introducing to your parents.
Online dating for 12 13 year olds
Well, you can offer to go with them to the movies and sit a few rows behind them. Offer to drive them to a restaurant and sit with your hubby at a different table. At least you can keep and eye on them the whole time and they can still enjoy each other's company.
They can have a little space, but not total freedom to be off on their own. What if you did supervised dates, you and your husband go to the movies with them and sit a few rows back. Tell her if she wants to date like an adult then she needs to earn your trust. I think 13 is too young to go alone, so supervised would be a compromise between the both of you.
My brother is 15 and his gf's father won't let her come over to visit without my mom supervising, even though Im 23, in nursing school and with a baby. Im sure the baby thing freaks him out but it goes to show other parents are still supervising.
Too young. I have a year-old and year-old. We let our older daughter go on "group" dates when she was in high school. Endure the stares. You are right.
This won't be her last boyfriend I promise you. It's not good to encourage them to pair off at this age. And if you allowed a double date, you'd be encouraging that.
It is ok to get those hated looks and be on their list for sticking to your guns. Compromising might work some too by having her ask her boyfriend and some other friends to your house for pizza and movies. While you raised your daughter and you trust her to follow the morals and beliefs you installed in her, she is a child and giving into peer pressure is a real threat to those morals.
Another compromise would be that you take them to the movie and you pick them up and you may even sit in the back of the theater, if you feel nessessary. At 13 my daughter wasn't interested in dating, she was still shy enough that she didn't want to have much to do with it. At 13 my youngest son had a girlfriend and one day in his laundry I found condoms, so don't always believe a 13 year old boy won't try something.
Even raised in the same family, kids are different. My daughter was 13 for her first date. At this age, it's not really much different than going to a movie with a friend. They might hold hands, maybe a little kiss. You've raised her, instilled your beliefs and morals in her. Now it's time to trust that she can make good choices. If you've got a good line of communication with her, you can trust her to come to you if things get too grown up.
In my opinion, 13 is too young. There is really no right age over YOU need to decide based on what YOU and Dad want, how responsible and mature your daughter is and if she is respectful. It would also be on based grades at school. I wasn't allowed to go on my first date alone until I was 16 and I will enforce the same with my daughter. I certainly would never let her bully or guilt me into changing my mind.
I make the rules. She needs to abide by them. I've allowed my kids to go to the movies in mixed company. My daughter and son both had friends of the opposite sex. My son is 15 and has LOTS of girls who are friends, but none that he "likes" or wants as a girlfriend. He has plenty of girls who like him, but he's just not into it. Thank goodness.
Also, fortunately, he has known kids who were allowed to "date" as early as He thinks it's stupid. It really is ridiculous. You can't stop your daughter from liking boys, but a double date at 13?
All I know is that once you start allowing something, it's hard to go backwards after that. Some of my very best friends were boys. But I was scared to death of a boy "liking" me. When I was 14, a boy came over to ask me to an 8th grade dance and I locked myself in the bathroom for two hours. Don't get me wrong, I went to every dance and danced with my friends who were boys. I wanted no part of the courtship thing. I was a late bloomer. If you say no to this, just be assured it won't be the last thing your daughter gets mad at you about.
She'll live. So will you. If she had said I am going with a small group of friends and had not called it a date would you have let her go? I would just drop off and pick them up, they cannot drive anyway, and let them have fun. I would also have a talk with my daughter about what expectations different people can have when they go out.
She might want to laugh and feel included, he may want to get in her pants. My 13 year old goes out but with groups of girls, or they have sleep overs at each others houses with parents present. I am hoping this girlie phase lasts another 10 years, lol! I will be interested to read what others say, but my philosophy is that we have to start taking off the training wheels a bit at a time since at 18 she can legally do what she wants, so the next 5 years are all about teaching her to be independent but with a safety net and LOTS of talks about consequences.
Dating 13 year old
I think that the proper dating age depends a lot on the maturity of the child. Have an open conversation with her and see what is going on inside her head. At age 13 kids really need a strong parent but they also need a parental figure that is willing to love and accept them unconditionally.
My daughter had a boyfriend when she was in seventh grade. I work on a school bus and one year we were doing a jr. All she would ever talk about is "he thinks I am hot and he thinks I am hot!
Josh McDowell's book Why Wait had results from a study about the percentages of teens who lost their virginity before HS graduation. Those who began dating at years had the highest rates of having had premarital sex, whereas those who began at had the lowest. You're parents doing the right thing. Life experience and logic two things that adolescents do NOT have are driving your actions as parents, as they should.
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Because they do not have the big picture, kids will "hate you" for pretty much anything that squelches their fun at the moment. Guess what, though: they get over it. Caving for no better reason than not wanting to be glared at creates brats. Hold your ground on the things that matter - I'd say this does just because it opens the door to pretty major decisions that can have lifelong consequences. You made a good choice.
No dating at 13! My oldest son is 13 and had a girl "ask him out" of course they're in 7th grade, there is no going anywhere. They were "going out" for a couple of weeks before we found out about it, but we immediately put a stop to it.
We explained to him that this behavior is not appropriate at his age, and then had a good long talk about what we believe in our house. We also spoke to the teacher who had a meeting with the kids about this type of inappropriate behavior.
As you can tell I take this stuff very seriously. If you allow children to date at such a young age, then at they will feel like a grown up and feel justified in having sex. Help her enjoy being a kid, she's not old enough for "love stuff".
Kids don't have the coping mechanisms to deal with things like break-ups, and cheating. A kid doesn't know how to handle a broken heart. That's why there are so many suicide attempts in young teenagers. I was just talking to my husband about this last night. I think 13 is way too young for kids to start dating. There is just no reason for them to be pairing off at this age, it's not like it helps them later in life and in my opinion probably hinders in some ways because they are focused on things other than school, family, sports etc.
I didn't date until I was I don't regret it at all. My parents probably would have allowed me to date around 15 or 16, but I didn't ask until a bit later, so it wasn't much of an issue. I think Dawn B. Don't give in to the death stares, stay strong.
I guess I'd be in the same boat as you guys!! I don't know what the 'right' age is either, I think it depends on the kids really and how well they can handle themselves. My daughter did go to the movies with a boy last fall-kinda. He was on her soccer team and his mom worked at the theater on base so she invited her to come and watch the movie and hang out at the theater with her son.
It was a kid type movie so I went as well with my 4yr old and let them sit towards the front. A bunch of their friends ended up showing up so all the kids sat in the same area while us parents sat further back with the younger kids.
So maybe you could compromise with her, she can go to the movies but you or your hubby can sit in the seats right behind them!! What ever you do, stand your ground and keep your beliefs, she'll live and life will go on :.
Devil's advocate for just a moment: they aren't really alone.
Jan 02, Dating advice from a 13 year old who's never dated sounds legit. But really I think over the years I have observed and learned about dating just by watching the people around me. I think my. My 13 year old daughter has a boyfriend (i.e., they sit together at lunch at school and talk/text), She and a friend want to go to a movie on a double date this weekend. My husband and I said no, explaining that we believe 13 is too young to be going on dates. Can your year-old friend "date" a year-old? Yes. However, even if it is not illegal, that does not necessarily make it a good idea. The 3-year difference in age is significant when you are a teen. I know you didn't request a lecture, but I doubt that you would have posed the question unless you were concerned about a possible sex crime.
They are on a double date at a movie theater with people there. I was "going with" a guy at 12 for awhile. Thank goodness, though we're still friends now, 23 years later. We'd walk the block and talk, and that was cool, and we behaved because there are neighbors everywhere.
We swam at the neighborhood pool every single day with all our friends and life guards, but again, it was a huge group thing. It was fun, but safe. I knew not to leave the pool area without calling mom back then, it was the life guard's land line. If I broke a rule, I understood that would put me several steps backwards with trust. By the time I was 13 I was able to go to the mall with girl friends but not a boy. Mom was around, but out of sight, and we were "grown" and shopped around and acted stupid as that age does, but didn't get into trouble.
We'd hit the arcade and "meet up" with a couple boys there to play, but again we weren't ever alone. Mom was friendly and in contact with my best friend's mom, she knew my friend very well from tons of sleep overs, so she understood that we weren't bad influences on each other. I think you do need to not just listen to your children's friends when they're talking to you, but even more so watch their actions and words when they're NOT talking to you.
You'll be able to judge who you can trust to be around your daughter as she's branching out with new steps of independence. My boys will be able to have friends, but I'll be picky on who they can actually be alone with, and who needs to remain supervised a little more. That's just life. We used to go to a dance once a month at a church hall but it wasn't a date. Girls would go with girls, guys with guys, and there were chaperones around.
We'd just get dropped off and picked up later. But my first "date" was the 7th grade dance. We didn't go together, but it was known we would meet there. Again, chaperoned, and loads of friends around. That was really fun. After that, mom would let us have movie night at her house. Kinda laid back, but cool to be together. When I was in 8th grade, she would drop us off for double dates. Again, it wasn't an age thing, but a progressive thing where I consistently showed good choices and maturity, and she always made it clear to not mess up the opportunity.
She'd drop us off at a 50's style malt shop, and she'd be in the car outside reading a book. We could eat and have a good time, but needed to keep an eye on the time ourselves so we could get back to the car and she'd drive us to the movies. She says now that she always let us go but it was to a pretty new release, a popular "big" movie insuring there'd be plenty of people there. Pretty smart, but I wouldn't have really thought to go to an empty movie.
I don't know what she did while we were at the movie or where she was, but she'd be really nice and park in a certain place where we had to walk to meet up with her so we wouldn't be embarassed with her right at the door. That way when she hits some magic number, she's not just on her own and in more trouble than she would have been if she'd eased into it. That was mom's theory at least, and I'm going to stick with it for my boys too.
But for the record: little town fairs at night are so off limits! This is long, but I think this was the best way to parent: it's not permissive, but it's structured and built some trust and dialogue on both sides. And she was always around, though I wasn't really aware of her, because I remember her asking questions about the way someone was acting or whatever. I felt safe talking to her and asking questions, just part of the mutual trust built.
She wasn't the enemy. If a privilege was removed, it was my bad choices. Not to say I was always perfect or I was always pleased with herSO not true My concern when my daughter was 13 we did allowed "group" movie dates I didn't want her to sneak around. I hoped she would be open and honest with us. When this dating issue came up my husband and I discussed it at length of course dad was like "not til she's 20".
During the conversation we starting talking about all the stuff "we got away with" even at that age. We ha and still do she's almost 20 now,rules no bedroom with the door closed, no pda's, stuff like that. I guess our thinking was getting used to the water a little at a time over the years is better for them than being thrown in the deep end all at once.
If I had it to do over I'd do it the same way. She is an independent smart women and she has NO Problem telling boys she dates to back off or take a hike. Good Luck!
Nov 24, Personally, there's no way I would let my 13 yr old daughter go out with a 16 year old boy. And eventually, (usually sooner than later), it will get to sex. There can be serious repercussions for having sex (or even sexual contact, which can include a kiss) with someone that young. Some states have a two year age difference statue. Online dating for 12 13 year olds - check our. Dating for year 13 olds 12 online. Online dating for 12 13 year olds. Posted on by Dalrajas. I just came back from a highly charged 3-day networking event and instantly googled ambition and stress, that . Ask Sam letter. To Sam 28 April 13 and dating a 15 year old. Hey Sam, im 13 and I'm dating a boy at the age of 15 and I'm scared that I'm going to have to stop dating him after he turns 16 I really love him and he really loves me. I just think it's illegal to date a 16 if I'm going to be 14 because we both have the Same birthday.
My kids did the group thing bunch if girls and boys met up at the mall, theater, skating rink etc till they hit 16 then real dates. I do not think you were wrong. I went on my first date at 14 and most of my friends were already dating. And none of us ended up pregnant, we all finished high school on time and all went on to college. Thirteen seems a little young but 16 seems very late to me.
I was 16 before my mom would let me date. I did the same thing with my boys. Once you are old enough to drive you are also presumed old enough to have enough common sense to date. I would make 16 the magic number.
It makes the sweet 16 birthday all the more special. I didn't let my kids date until they were I don't think there's anything wrong with supervised get-togethers ie.
Oh, by the way, I was a teen whose parents trusted and I totally abused it. I had a boyfriend at the age of 14 and was 2 months pregnant when I turned I completely used that experience as an example for my older kids - while all my friends were out having fun, I was home with my baby. I didn't get to go to prom or graduate with my class because I had to go to night school since I had no babysitter, etc.
Both of them grew up to be responsible adults and did not follow in my footsteps. I'm certainly not saying that all kids who are allowed to date end up pregnant. Some are definitely more responsible than I was. I really believed that I was in love with the boy my first and we did eventually marry and the closer we got, well it was just a natural progression.
Rent the movie Dan in Real Life-It will help you laugh at this situation!!!! I say stick to your guns-especially considering you are laying out the standard for the next years. If you give in about this now, it will be easier for her to think she'll get her way about curfews, boys in her room, etc But seriously, having three girls myself, Dan in Real Life, hit home so bad.
My husband and I laughed so hard we cried. I also have a 13 year old girl, she is not dating but I know she start liking boys. I also know that most of her friends also like other boys and some are dating already.
My husband and I are just hoping that she understand that she still have so much time for that and that she should enjoy what is left of her childhood. Then again, when I was 13 I did had a boyfriend, kind of. We never went out and barely talked in the phone, we just eat together at lunch, lol. I never told my mom because I knew she would have get mad at me. So on that said it is very nice that your daughter trust you.
I agree with other moms, 13 is too young, we are not ready emotionally and boys are either,they also tend to be very dramatic and play Romeo and Juliet if you say no, and oh yeah, lots of stares, lol.
I wouldn't allow her to go in a date group but I will point out that I am proud she told me the true and make a movie night in my own house and invite some of her friends, including the boy.
I would ask my daughter to treat that boy as a friend for a little longer and just keep the conversation open and respectful. My daughter recently turned 14 and had a boyfriend. I found it best to encourage the relationship.
He could come over to our house when hubby or I were home. She went over to his house once, when his parents were home. The only "date" they ever went on was to the park with other friends. She quickly learned that having a "boyfriend" wasn't all that great.
He wanted her attention most of the time and would get upset if she didn't call or unavailable when she called. She realized that having a life was better than having a boyfriend.
I would let her invite him to birthday parties etc but dating heck no. You need to explain to her that she is only She shouldn't be interested in relationships. And boys that young change their mind so often and break girls hearts left and right because they are changing emotionally as well as physically. He might think he really likes her or even loves her and then a few weeks later meet some girl at the movies or something.
I've had my heart broken so much as a naive teen adolescent girl and I know how boys are at those ages.
Tell her she can be friends with him but explain to her if he really likes her then a few years from now he can ask her out again when she's old enough to date.
If you don't allow any contact with him then yes she'll hate you and rebel and not listen to anything you say on the subject of boys again. I had a bf at 15 that would come and visit on my porch or living room couch only, we didnt start going to get a bite to eat or a soda til Endure the stares; someday she'll thank you - or at least understand!
Well if they go as a group I feel it's okay. It also depends on the attitude, are they "boyfriend" or a friend that happens to be a boy. My son had a girlfriend at 13, but at the that point she was a friend that happened to be a girl. They have done prom and homecoming and are not good buddies and both I would tell her she could go if you could schaparone it but sit a row or two back from them so you can still keep an eye on them.
If she does not like that then oh well!! I did not date until i was like 16 Good luck!