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Birthday: day 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 month January February March April May June July August September October November December year Butch women are well aware of how the world views them. Simply dressing and grooming for a butch woman can be a political statement-she is saying that the socially constructed version of womanhood does not define her.
The confidence she has now has probably been hard-won. She has likely experienced her fair share of negativity at the cost of being true to herself.
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Much like being a butch woman requires a certain level of confidence and security, so does loving one. Femmes who otherwise were accustomed to walking the streets unnoticed as a gay woman must become accustomed to a different life-one where being unrecognized by passersby may be a thing of the past.
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And you have to be okay with that. Requesting that your butch girlfriend or wife downplay her masculinity can feel like a rejection of who she is.
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If you cannot love her fully-in the street, at a wedding, at a family event-you cannot love her at all. There are certain scenarios and situations that can be cause for concern for butches that we femmes might not notice.
For a butch woman, the rules are different. As femmes, we are less likely to offend the general public based solely on our appearance.
In sharing life with a butch woman, you may learn that the conveniences afforded to you have changed. When your partner communicates to you that a certain situation is potentially dangerous, heed her words.
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And I now have to live with some of the damage I caused by questioning what she knows to be true through her lived experience. Trust that your butch lady is keen to what is safe and what is not. There are other versions of this type of behavior, each having its own specific type of offender and victim.
Google Matt Damon and whitesplaining if you need an ate. Yes, we femmes are gay women and are not immune to prejudice due to our sexuality. But, our experiences as lesbians can, in many ways, be quite different-and sometimes easier.
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