I'll keep this short and sweet. Met a girl online. Over the course of months we've been on 7 amazing dates. She's really in to me. Loads of hugging, holding hands, kissing on her part. She's invited me to stay around twice. We've had sex around 8 times.
Things went well I felt a good connection, we made out etc. Saw him one more time a few days later, then he said hes getting a hip surgery and has to work a lot of OT plus his daughter is moving to another city for college with her things hes been moving her. I offered to help with anything esp. He said he wanted to see me this Monday which is tomorrow holiday.
So 2 hrs later he messaged me. He said he enjoys being around me too. He said I not an option. He said he does not want to lead me on! He said maybe its best if we stop contact until after his surgery and hes well again which could be weeks!
Then he said he may not get to his computer much to message me!. But he has a phone, why would he say that? It that a way to twist my brain? So I then thanked him and said im going out for birthday drinks. I left him a voicemail 1 hr later just oneits now sunday, he never called me back!! So I went in and deleted mine as well! One guy got mad cause I wanted him to confirm IM hes still coming!!
He already has pictures of me, I have sent by phone and I asked him that he had been online, he said it was because he was checking whether I had been online, I have left it a week and sure enough he has been online in the last 24 hours.
Just recently went through this on another site. We dated for two months, spent a lot of good times together, dinners out, movies, nights out with friends, and eventually sex was involved. He told me that I made him very happy etc. Then he started pulling away, less texting, calls stopped, excuses started. I had a feeling he was lying to me about the excuses its happened before. Seems likes bs to me. Well, I shut down my profile a week after meeting him. He continues to be online at unusual times really late at night or early in the morning.
If I make him happy, why look at others? Plus, he said he wanted space? I deserve better. This guy i met online and he said he needed space to get over an ex. Its been 6 weeks no contact. His profile was still on but he took down his pictures and remained inactive for a month but just yesterday went online and reattached his pictures. Anyway i think its A. Is he trying to test my reaction and call him out on it? Why do guys do this? I thought he was a genuine nice guy.
He told me he loves me and he said he meant it, and would never cheat on me, and I believed it. He constantly went on dating apps to talk to other girls and he confessed to me and told me he cheated on me. I felt hurt because I thought I knew him and I thought cheating would be the last thing he would to do me. I never thought he would do that to me because of all the words he had said to me about how much he loves me and so on.
He said he is serious about me and called me wifey. He brought me to his parents but seem to be quite scared of letting his friends see me. My boyfriend is very self-centered, which he also admitted.
They Met Online, But He’s Still on the Dating App!
Sometimes I feel like he only cares about himself, pays a lot of attention on himself rather than on me now. I even flew all the way just to get him to talk about this with me because I thought I had to talk about this with him. Since our last huge fight regarding him talking to other girls he said he had deleted the dating apps. But he would still talk to a few girls he met on okcupid on whatsapp.
Constantly texting them.
I asked him why, he said because this girl called Dion had recently been to korea and he just wanted to ask information about traveling to korea. So that obviously was an excuse. Although my trust to him is kind of broken but I still want to trust him again. We talked about this issue almost every night and I told him I feel hurt that he still talks to girls from dating app. Then I asked him if he wants to meet friends then why only talk to pretty slim girls but not guys?
Why only pick pretty girls to talk to to be his new friend? Why does he stil want to meet other pretty girls? After another conflict again his mind changed a bit. I said nothing, because minimizing still means he still gets to talk to them. Although we are ok now but I just feel so helpless. My friends kept telling me to dump him.
For the record, within the first 3 dates he told me he took his match profile down, how he was finished with online dating, what terrible luck he had, and how he expected to be stood up by me on the first date. We are both professionals in our late 30s and he has 2 teenage children. I never in a million years expected to be bamboozled like this. Aug 07, When you meet someone online and you start spending more and more time together, the last thing you're thinking about is your online dating profile, let alone ating or deleting it. After all, you don't want to jinx the relationship before it even has a chance to start. In the meanwhile, you might still get those email alerts when a new. Hi Anonymous. So this has just happened to me and my boyfriend brome it of with me because I still had my online dating profile up. So, yes she could be looking for someone else and she might not think you're that special someone, which you should communicate it with her and figure out where you stand.
But what about me? Why are men like that? Hello, I read ur full story. I think you are the opposite of me although we share sth in common, I am also an observant girl when I am dating online, which is what I am doing now. However, I would do the opposite if I found out the guy I am with is doing all these dating app things behind me.
You have made him feel like you will never leave, and he can always get you back as long as he stops it for a while. What I mean is, dress up and make up urself everyday, keep yourself in the best condition, and go out to meet friends and new guys, and let him see these changes!
I donno if you have thought about this? If you want to make him become obsess with you, you should just go back to the one you were before, the one who attracted this guy to fall in love with you. If the guy looks at your profile, you get a notification.
Seriously, grow up! The advice in this article is terrible. His actions are speaking louder than words. He wants something better, or someone else. Since that moment I knew I had to break contact with him since we were not on the same page. I will have to trust his decision, and if I ever feel like my mistrust of him is too big to continue, I will let him know and I will break it off, just like I had intended the first time.
This dating scene nowadays is toughit is tempting not only to look around for other people because dating websites are just a click away, but snooping is easier as well, and very tempting.
I wish you all luck out there, be smart. Why did you let him talk you into staying with him?
A girlfriend (or boyfriend) can usually tell it the profile is real in any number of ways - if the profile has exact details about height and weight, the writing style that was used, saporiviafrancigena.com's just a temptation many men can't avoid and usually a big clue about what's going on Author: Eric Charles. Oct 11, Now, I confess that I think I still have a profile on a dating site or two (don't judge). As a former dating blogger, I started profiles on some sites to try them out and write reviews so there are simply just dating sites that I don't remember about. But (and there is a huge but here) I took my profiles off any sites that I was on. In the meantime Brad he treats me very well and has introduced me to his parents and all his friends. I was at dinner in his parents house tonight. These actions tel me that he likes me and is trying to have a serious relationship with me. The online dating profile is tellng me that he is .
Your gut instinct was right. Life is too short to waste on second best relationships. I would rather be single. I my name is susan like to call sue. I need to start looking for a honest guy. Iam 49 year old. Have four grow up children. Iam single. Was engaged to a man but he been cheating on me, please need to leave and start anew life, i lost myhusband in Now my life is tore up.
I wish I could find an article more recent in regards to this topic. I myself have been dating a guy for a little over a month. Well, curiosity killed the cat, so I created a fake profile and though his was hidden, there are ways to search and find it regardless. I realized he accessed his account and kept mum.
I suppose my issue is that his profile IS hidden therefore does not show up in any searches, so why is he accessing his account? If HE emails someone, they then have access to his profile and it can go from there. SO, why would he go and do something that would make me doubt him. Let alone make me feel like he is keeping me around until he finds something better.
You know the answer already. If you were your own best friend, what advice would you give yourself. Your gut instinct is right. Value yourself and find someone who wants you and no one else. I disagree with the advice in this article.
The guy HAS given her a reason to distrust him. He offered exclusivity, yet actively participates in an online dating community. When a person last logged in is public information. Then Mr. How transparent is that. Plain and simple. Totally agree with you Moops. Well said.
Trust is very hard and someone should give you reasons to trust! I agree with you Moops. I had been dating this guy I met online for 4 months. I told him I was taking down my match account. He said he would also. Not only did he not do that, he joined pof and meet me!
I decided to still give him the benefit of the doubt. Yes he really said that! I said he was the one who was searching. Girls, stop the madness! I was honest with myself and realized I was only with him because I was lonely, and it is so hard to meet someone nice, but I was doing myself a disservice.
Still trying to find the one. This very thing happened to me. Wasted an entire year on this man. Gave him the benefit of the doubt in the name of trust and it was a bad decision. Now I not only wasted a year but have spent six months trying to recover emotionally and am going back into the dating scene with less trust.
If he is logging in he is looking or communicating and the bottom line is you will never be able to trust him completely because this will always be in the back of your mind.
Keep looking! A truly excellent reply. This article seems to expose a type of man that is rotten to the core and is capable of using women without any conscience. The whole interaction left me feeling sick to my stomach.
I completely agree that if someone is still checking dating sites after committing to someone then they are leaving options open,stroking their ego,or seeing you as for now person Its disrespectful and breaks trust not builds it. I met someone in my home area on an online dating site. We have gone out 3 times in two weeks, and have several dates already arranged for the coming week.
We are both divorced and he has a child almost every weekend, so we typically do not see each other from Friday to Monday night. I took my profile off the site because I believe it leads to hurt feelings and in my little mind, why make him not trust me. What I did was set up a bogus account and I can see he is on the site each day, even after we have gone out. He is on and off the site daily. There are times I have been on the phone with him or in the midst of sending a text back and forth when he is on the site.
I really want to find out why men do this? If they meet someone and apparently things are going well, so what is up with men who need to see or chat with other women? It was after telling him this that he asked me if I can go out with him on several days for the coming week. So what is up with men you meet online and how they still log in and show chat venue open.
Thanks, Sammy. I have been going through a similar situation and would really appreciate the feedback on here. Im 24 yrs old and im very attractive and have never been in a real relationship and crave that part of my life with someone special.
I have been on the online dating scene for 3 yrs and have been on sooooooo many dates and havent found anyone who I am remotely interested in until 3 and a half months ago. When it comes to me and dating I think I have the worst luck and i cant even get past the 3rd date with someone so I am always walking on pins and needles each time. But here is my situation:.
He first told me that he wasnt looking for anything super super serious and i said well lets take it slow and see where it leads to. He was always treating me like i was his gf and i met one of his close friends and he took me and my sis and his friend out for dinner. I never had any guy treat me like that. ANYWAY this looser is now communicating with a young women who looks 18 says she is 28 lives overseas and lets face it.
Probably notI suspect a case of stolen identity and he is about to be scammed big time. What would a young attractive woman want with a balding, fat, impotent and self centered man?
I am now laughing at him!!! I think you need to let him know that he needs to stop doing this. Letting a friend use the account is no excuse or at least a very poor one.
His friend could create a free profileno need to use his. Sounds like a pretty weak excuse to me.
This just happened to me two days ago for a second time with a guy I was seeing for 7 months. We met online and a couple months ago I checked the site to see if he still had his profile up. He did. I texted him and he called me to explain why. I asked he take down his profile. For shame I let this slide and continued to see him until recently. He played the image of a sweet, witty, sensitive guy that had lots of female friends.
What do you do when the guy you have been dating for over four years still has an active match. I recently moved in with my boyfriend of over four years and was using his computer. I saw he had recently been on match. Do I confront him or just ignore it.
Ask a Guy: We're Dating, But He Still Checks saporiviafrancigena.com
Everything else is great. People like that are selfish, arrogant, users, I feel he used me as he could not find anyone else to stay long enough with him and tolerate him. I did, but now I rather be alone than be used.
UmI think I would talk to him about it. I am not sure what to think really, other than it makes me feel like i would be 2nd choice. How do you suggest brining up this topic without being completely accusatory with someone? I am having similar issues as these women. I have been seeing someone for 4 months, we have had the talk about being boyfriend and girlfriend - which we now are. A few weeks ago, I noticed it was 3 days in a row. It was driving me crazy, so I said something.
I asked him if he was still looking for someone and he said no, that he had gotten a few emails from a woman out of our state and just read them. He has not been on there since, but has not deleted it yet either. I also found out that he uses Flirt and Are You Interested through Facebook and it appears that on one of those sites he was recently active, although I am not sure how long it takes to not log into the account for it to say otherwise. I am not sure what to do or how long to wait to ask him about not deleting his account and also how to ask him about his other accounts.
Things have been going wonderful aside from this, he seems very genuine and kind, not the type of person to cheat at all. All of his past relationships were very long term. He talks of a future with me, so I am stumped on how to handle this, help please!! My ex boyfriend of 13 months flirted with women all the time, though I never felt threatened until a year into the relationship.
His feelings had changed, he was flirting with a woman by text on his phone whose name he was lying about. I read the messages and confronted him, and he used the excuse that he did not cheat, flirts all the time, but he is also very insecure with himself and his age.
We all flirt, sure, but this I consider cyber cheating. The other woman does not know that a girlfriend exists, and he thinks he is allowed and that it is not disrespectful.
We, of course, broke up, and he can now continue to look for whatever he thinks he deserves but will never find. I have the exact opposite problem. Perhaps, you, Brad, can help me out and explain this. I met this guy a little over 3 weeks ago on POF After going out every day for about 10 days, talking on the phone daily several times a day, and texting in between he complained that I still had a profile up on POF so did he.
I removed my profile; he HID his!!! Then we had a discussion about being exclusive including removing profiles, etc. He did remove his profile from POF and match.
To me this sounds like some trust issues on his part that go deeper than the visibility of a dating profile. You were co-operative which again makes me think he just feels insecure.
I too am going through a similar issue. I have been with my guy for almost two years. Well his last stint out of town really had the jealousy wheels turning, for the reason mentioned above, as well as his recent induction into the world of Facebook in which I am nowhere to be found on his profile mentioned as a girlfriend or a picture and he listed he is interested in. Maybe and advertisement? He read the mail, which was someone winking at him.
No picture or other information and right after creating and logging in yesterday, he unsubscribed from emails. But did not delete his account. Glad to know there are others out there but it saddens me to know that this seems to be so common amongst mostly men.
If nothing comes of the browsing, is it worth mentioning and possibly creating a huge fight over?
I think I just found my answer, as hard as it is to swallow. If I went browsing on dating site, my wife would punch me in the nose and I support her in that decision.
Why look at real people in your area and be tempted to contact them?
We Love Dates
There are issues with Match. I really just wanna punch him the face!!! After my emotional abusive ex broke up with me I looked into his emails as I thought there was more to it. We lived together for two years. Anyway I saw an email he and his friend were sending eachother. And how he has to man up and give me the breakup speech.
He met the ex before me on there and I asked him which one they met on and he said he forgot. And he always deleted his browser history. I hate to say it but I am glad that I am not the only one to have been in this horrible position. Ladies, this is just pitiful. We are strong and wonderful creatures so can we please start to act like it?
This goes for me, too. After all, in my mind it is much, much better to be single and happy than to be with someone who makes you feel inadequate, insecure and overall lonely. I met a guy a year ago off match. For about months it was on and off.
We went a great mount of time not seeing each other or talking. Over the summer we just randomly stopped talking. This past September he initiated contact and we have been dating ever since. We talk on the phone every day and see each other times a week. In November I texted him and told him I really liked him and needed to know if he saw this going somewhere. He said he really liked me too and that he was going with the flow.
He said he is always busy and tired from work which he isbut would like to see each other more and see where it goes. I asked if he was dating anyone else and he said no. I assumed after this conversion we were exclusive. The past three weeks he has been extremely busy more than usual and I have only seen him once.
Some friends suggested that maybe he was dating other girls and recommended I check if he was still on match. I reactivated my account yesterday, and looked him up, and sure enough he had logged on the day before. I checked again and he was online again today. Im so heartbroken since we have known each other for almost a year now. I am currently going through what everyone on here has.
This is the third guy I have dated that has done this. I am about ready to confront him about it when he comes down this weekend. He should not be surprised after all he is the one who said he would delete his. I just reactivated mine. I am waiting to see if he says anything about it.
Exclusivety if that is a word is what any serious relationship is about. There are somewhere guys who ARE looking for a serious relationship. Go online yourself then give him the flick!! Met on fitness-singles. Emailed for two months.
Scheduled a visit to see me. Prior to his visit, my subscription ended, so I hid my profile so as not to get any more emails, though I did get some from previous corresponders. I logged in now and then, and noticed for about a week his was still on. Another week goes by and his profile is gone. Clearly hidden. So then I got to checking his activity, while I was hidden.
Silly cat and mouse. What do you make of that? I know why mine is hidden and active now - checking on his activity. I wonder why his is hidden and active any ideas other than he could be doing the same as I am? Anyway, we finally met in my state a couple of weekends ago. This is his typical MO from before we met, I just thought after meeting, claiming he had a great time, wants me to visit, wants to come back that he would contact more. Thoughts anyone? I really can only guess but I do think hiding the profile is a great first step.
A year into our relationship I found out that the same week he met me he had a one night stand and she became pregnant as the result. I had a very hard time accepting this and I will admit it took me a long time to get over it. Also in the same month he became a father he took a vacation to Australia for a week to visit a long time female friend, who paid for the trip. I did not approve of this trip since she had told him in the past that she thought she was in love with him. He explained to me that she was married and had a family and her husband knew that he was coming to visit.
So again I had to get over it. About a year and a half onto our relationship I found that he had not signed out of his email so I started reading them. I couldnt believe my eyes! Messages from all kinds of women. So he took me to pick out a engagement ring and I forgave him. Now were two years into the relationship, I have never received the ring, I think he went and got his deposit back, and today I found him on a dating website.
Hi Brad, I met my boyfriend from Okcupid. He even have dreams and plans for our future. On our first month of our relationship, he introduced me to his family who were took a vacation here in US they from Ireland. Regarding for sex, we usually have sex 3 times a week, thus, this really puzzled me. I also found this out that his lying that he will remove his account the said dating site.
Brad, I need your advice. I do think you need to bring this up with him.
I have been dating a guy for a year and a half - met through friends. We talked about marriage - we already have kids from prior realationships. I recently found out hes on a dating website - no pic, not paying account. I know his passwords so when i checked it, i found out that he browes pictures, and emailed 4 woman. He received many emails but he cant open since hes not a paying user. Should I confront him? Is this something men do just in their spare time, browse?
Is it cheating? I sent a note to POF to let them know that could cause problems! See if they fix it. Another thing to consider - I may be wrong, but Match. However, this only happens if the profile is visible which often is the real problem.
Thanks for the clarification about Match. Internet dating certainly does complicate life. Saved me all that misery a good thing!
Oct 01, Don't keep wondering, If he likes me why is he still online dating - this is your time to find out. You are clarifying an intimacy boundary for him. You can say, "I only sleep with a man once we become exclusive and pursuing a relationship to discover if we're a good long-term match.". Sep 07, When you find your boyfriend is still on a dating site, you have two choices really. You can confront him or you can downgrade him and pull back from the relationship. Should You Confront Your Boyfriend about his Online Dating Activity? If you know for a fact that he is online and active, and you decide you must confront him or you will die.
I have been dating the same girl for almost 7 months now and her excuse for being online was originally that she wanted to try and get her 6 month guarantee money from Match.
She told me this when were at the 4 month mark of dating.
If he still has an online dating profile
We are both in our 40s so game playing time should have been up long ago. She acted offended that I would confront her about it and said she would take it down. Brads May 13, comments are very pertinent to my situation. Bottom line is this type of thing goes both ways. Please Guys write Your Experience on here too, so at least we genuine women will have faith again.
Well I definitely know that this happens to guys too because it is currently happening to me right now. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for about 2 months now and I know for a fact that his dating profile is still active on the site me met on. It told me the time that comment was made and it turns out that he made that comment weeks after we had started dating.
So I confronted him about it and he got upset that I had been snooping. In other words, don't hightail it home after a few good dates with someone and delete your Tinder or OkCupid profiles forever, because you just might wish you'd waited a bit longer. That said, you certainly don't wait to wait too long - if you and your partner are ready to get serious togetherit won't feel good if one or both! Read on to find out how long you should wait to delete that dating profile after you've met a suitable suitor online.
There's no reason to press fast-forward, especially if you're really into this person. Tessina, aka Dr. Plus, it'll feel more momentous if you do it together.